Wednesday, March 14, 2012

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

This post is one that the Lord told me to write while I was at work today. Listening to music while I was working a song came on titled...Please Forgive Me. As soon as the song started a scene from my past came back to me and the words started forming in me. I said, "Really Lord. You want me to write about that?" He said, "Write it." My response was, "Really" and again, "Write it." I said, "Okay." No argument at all from me. The reason being...

This morning I had a talk with God on the way to work. Usually that's what takes place while I'm driving to work. But today was different. Because of things that have been going on with me recently I told Him that I would...write whatever He told me to write...say whatever He told me to say...do whatever He told me to do...and go wherever He told me to go. Well, if you don't mean it, I guess you shouldn't say it. He will take you up on it every time...and He doesn't seem to waste any time doing it either! There are many things He could have asked me to write about but for some reason He wants this one. So, I may have written about this a long time ago but...here we go anyway...

One night when I was 16 or 17 a friend and I decided to have a party for two. We partied a lot but not usually at one of our houses. But, her parents were gone for the weekend so that's where we were. She lived up a long, narrow, gravel road with 7 or 8 houses up the hill past theirs. People were in and out at all hours so it was nothing for cars to be on it a lot. We were smoking weed and drinking so you can imagine what kind of shape we were in. Around 10 p.m. some other friends came over and we helped them with what they had. All I remember is at some point after midnight I was not feeling very good. It was cold and raining out so I went outside to get some air and passed out. I have no idea how long I was there. When I came to I finally stood up and started walking...I thought I was going back to the house. Next time I woke up I was more coherent and noticed I was still outside and drenched from the rain. Then I noticed where I was. I was laying with my head and shoulders in the road and my head was in the tire track. There wasn't any lights on this road unless a car had it's headlights on. Well, I believe now that God was watching out for me even though I wasn't a Christian. Just as I managed to get up, and stumble a couple of steps, a car came barreling down the road right where I had been...didn't even slow down for a second. Had I not gotten up I probably wouldn't be here writing this. After being in the rain for so long I was pretty well straightened up and couldn't believe what almost happened. God wasn't in my thoughts but I thought I had been really lucky!

Why God put this time in my thoughts, I don't know. All I know is just how much He loves me and He loves you. I always knew about God but for many reasons...never knew Him. I wanted to but just couldn't get there. So for many reasons this song really "fits" for me. When the chorus started playing is when God started talking to me. The chorus was kind of my prayer this morning driving to work. If I want to be totally honest...the whole song is just me. Sometimes it is hard to believe that...The God of earth and glory would take the time to care for someone like me! But He did, and He does, and I am so thankful!! 

This scene was replayed in my life many times just with different scenarios. I am just so blessed that one day I did hear the Holy Spirit talking to me before it was to late.

I pray that if I am writing this because someone out there needs to hear it that it helps you to find the Lord. There really isn't any thing that makes you feel as good as Jesus does. He is the answer to all of your dread and pain...from your yesterdays...your today...and your tomorrows! We all have problems and pain all the time but if you have Jesus in your life you will be able to get through them a lot easier. I don't know what else to say except...Talk to Jesus. Ask Him into your heart. You will never be sorry you did.

Here are the lyrics to the song.

Please Forgive Me (crabbs)

my sleep is gone, my heart is full of sorrow
i cant believe how much I've let you down
i dread the pain that waits for me tomorrow
when the sun reveals my broken dreams scattered on the ground

chorus:
please forgive me
i need your grace to make it through
all i have is you, I'm at your mercy
lord, I'll serve you
until my dying day
help others find the way
at your mercy, please forgive me

i cant believe the god of earth and glory
would take the time to care for one like me
but i read in the bible that old story
how he plead for my forgiveness while he was dying on a tree


6 comments:

Denise said...

Bless you Chelle for hearing God's voice and following His instructions to share a story from a hurtful experience in your past. We all have unforgettable sin and pain, but thanks to His amazing love and grace we are forgiven when we accept His compassion and mercy! :)

Blessings for your day sweet lady!
Denise

Jen said...

Chelle, What you just wrote was my life until I was 21. I too, always knew about God, I just never knew him. I want to so badly. It's a daily struggle between my heart and my flesh. I am 24. I think the fear of having to give things up is the hardest part. Especially friends. It's incredibly hard to make new friends at 24. Thank you for sharing your heart! You have no idea how much it means!!

Never Forsaken said...

God is so amazing! Your story is a beautiful and powerful reminder of that.
I am so thankful you listened to Him and wrote it out.

God Bless You Chelle,
Lisa

Child of God said...

Hi Chelle,
Way to go girl, stepping out in faith! Obedience to God will always be rewarded. :)

I praise God that He woke you up from the stupor you were in before that car came barrelling over your head. I also praise Him for removing the scales from your eyes so you can see just how amazing and beautiful He is truly is. God is so very good.

We all have a story and a testimony to tell. A story that will help others move closer to Him. Nicky Cruz, The Cross and the Switchblade & Run Baby Run were two books explaining the life of this very mixed up teen, which really helped me walk closer to God. I thought, wow if this really messed up street kid finds God cool then I should take a deeper look at what he finds so cool about the God I love.

Testimonies are powerful.

Blessings,
<><

Kandi said...

Chelle,

God is so good isn't He? I think we all have stories like that to tell, stories of God's amazing grace, He kept you safe that night, He has a plan for you Chelle.

Blessings

Kristin Bridgman said...

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound!
So glad you found Him and we found each other.
God bless you Chelle! :)