Monday, December 29, 2008


Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalms 46:10

This last year has been great. I have learned so many things about God and what He can do if you just let Him. My life has changed tremendously. God has helped me to deal with many issues in my life. Some from my past and yet still others that are new. I know that as the year goes on there will be more that have to be dealt with. Just like this last year, some will be old ones that haven't been dealt with yet, and still others will be new. The thing that has to be remembered is just to keep God first in all situations. Pray, read the word and sometimes ask for prayer and help from Christian friends. We need all the help we can get sometimes. As one of my friends told me recently, "We need one another". I know that's true. There were many times I might not have made it had it not been for the conversations with, and the prayers of, my Christian friends. I know that God will bless them for that. If you ever get the opportunity to help someone by just being a friend and talking and praying with them, do it. You never know what that person may be going through.

The verse, "Be still and know that I am God" is such an awesome verse. It seems to be what God keeps speaking to me lately. Sometimes I'm not real good at that and I can imagine that some of you reading this aren't either. It's hard for me to just step back and let God have control of my situations. I tend to think that I can do things on my own and then God just lets me know that I'm not as good at it as I think I am. He lets things come into my life that really I don't have any control over. That's when God reminds me that He is in control of all situations. That being said...I am very excited about what the new year has to offer. Some will be good and others not so good. The thing we have to remember is that God has the outcome in His hands. It could be spiritual, health, financial, relational or any other type of issue that just seems to crop up. Our job is to turn everything over to him and let God be in control.

As the year 2009 is about to begin I have a couple of challenges for myself. I don't do resolutions because I have a tendency not to keep them. The first thing I'm challenging myself with is to read the Bible every day. I don't always do that. There are times when I'm busy with other things and sometimes I'm just having an old "Rebel" attitude! So, I bought the Chronological Bible and I'm going to try to read some in that everyday along with a devotional study. The second challenge is to just "Be still" and listen for God in the little stuff of my life as well as the big stuff. He wants to be there with us through all of it. He is just waiting for us to ask Him and then to listen for His answers. If your reading this and you know me, you know that it is hard for me to do these things. But, I feel as Christians we need to make a commitment to God to read His word everyday no matter what else is going on in our lives.

As the year starts I'm also praying for direction in what God has for me to say in this blog. Sharing more of my testimony will be much of it but I know there is more to it than that. I guess I'll just have to "Be Still" and listen for His voice. All of us can accomplish great things for God if we will just stop and wait and listen for His voice. Just remember that whatever we do for God it is not us doing it. If it is, we need to step back from it and pray for Gods direction before we go on. We need to make sure God is in it and that we are not doing it for our own glory.

Well, I'm very much looking forward to a new year with God and finding out what He has in store for me in every area of my life. And, I pray in Jesus name that whomever reads this blog will get something from God out of it.

So, I think I've rambled on enough tonight. I'd just like to remind you that you can always leave a comment if you'd like to. I would be interested in what you have to say.

I pray that you all have a Wonderful and a Happy New Year! Just remember to keep Christ first and whatever happens will be okay.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Christmas...What's it mean to you? Over the course of my life the meaning has changed many times. Being a kid everyone loves Christmas. There's really not much about it that kids don't like. Then when you start getting older and have your own kids that's great too. Watching them open their gifts and seeing the laughter and the joy on their face is one of the best things imaginable. So, to me Christmas was just a fun time. Then life goes on, things change and sometimes Christmas just isn't fun anymore. Maybe family members die, maybe you don't have a job, maybe there's a divorce, it could be just about anything that makes it not fun like it once was. There were many years where I really didn't like Christmas at all. I always thought it was more trouble than it was worth. But...I have since realized...that Christmas was not ever really about the things that seem to change so quickly in our lives. What Christmas means to me now is completely different than what it used to mean. Christmas is still about gifts but of a different kind. It's about the greatest gift you could ever receive.

JESUS!! The best gift ever. He came to earth as a baby and made it possible for you to have a gift that no one can take from you. THE Gift! Eternal life! Then when you accept that gift, you are given even more! You are given victory so you can overcome your problems, your temptations, your worries, or whatever you need to beat! You are given peace, so that when things come at you that you're not expecting, you can deal with it and not totally lose it! He gives us hope. Hope that today will get better. Hope that you won't always be where you're at right now, but that someday, you will be in a better place. Maybe here on earth but maybe not until you get to Heaven. He gives us healing. Healing for spiritual matters as well as physical and emotional. He will give you joy even when you're having problems. Life really sucks sometimes. But, no matter what, if you choose too, you can have joy inside. Don't let life steal your joy! Stay positive. With Jesus you can. ALL things are possible with Him.

So...What does Christmas mean to you? Is it all about the tree, the gifts, food, family, friends all the glitter? These are all good things. Important things. But...they aren't the most important.

JESUS He is the most important gift there ever was or ever will be. However...You have to decide that for yourselves. What are you going to do with THE GIFT of a lifetime? It's all up to you.

AHH, It is Christmas and I hope that you have a Very Merry Christmas.

Sunday, December 21, 2008


This is another one of those learning days for me. I don't have it all figured out yet but I'm sure God is working on that. The only reason I can come up with for this lesson is that someone that is going to read this must have the same type of problem. Something they can't beat on their own. Still yet, it could be that I never really dealt completely with the problem. I don't know.

After I became a Christian I still had a lot of major issues in my life. And...I'm sure there will always be issues, I'm just believing that they will be smaller ones as time goes on. One of them was just being able to sit through church without feeling like I had to get out of there as fast as I could. That hasn't happened in a long time. Much to my surprise it happened again today. It seemed like it was going to be a perfectly normal Sunday when I got there but it didn't last long. It really kind of messes with your head and makes talking to people harder for me than normal. Even the people I like. Leaving as quickly as possible is my only thought. So as soon as it was over I was headed for the door. Of course there were three different people that decided they wanted to talk to me. It just prolonged my agony a little. God "does" have a sense of humor!

I'm sure most of you have heard of the "Fight or Flight" syndrome. That is what I kept thinking of after leaving church. After dwelling on it for a few hours I decided that for me it will be:

Flight or Fight and Engage.

I've decided that I have two choices. Most of my life I have chosen the wrong one but with Gods help I'm trying to change that. Anyone else that is reading this that has the problem of running the other way when things get tough, needs to pay attention. Running is the "Flight" part of the equation. Anyone can do that. The thing is, if your a Christian you don't have to run from things. You just need to run to God and let Him help you. That's what He's there for and what He wants to do. It doesn't matter what the problem is. Mine might seem pretty small to you. You might be thinking, what could be so hard about going to church? Believe me when I tell you that I have thought the same thing. But apparently, for me, sometimes it's not as easy as it sounds. Whatever it is that you want to flee from try standing your ground and asking for Gods help instead. Don't run. Remember, we really don't have anything to fear with God on our side.

That brings us to the "Fight" segment. Sometimes we just have to push ourselves, or fight, for what we need to change. It's pretty simple to say but not always easy to do. I can tell myself all week long that it "will be" different when I go to church on Sunday. I "will not" want to run out as soon as I get there. I "will" talk to people that I want to talk to. However, from past experience I know that things change once I'm in the building. So, you just have got to
"Fight" for it. Whatever "It" is. When you know the situation is going to come up do some things to prepare. Start your "Fight". Get up early and read your bible and talk to God about it. Ask Him to help you with the situation. Not just to get through it but to beat it. He's there for you. You just have to ask Him to help you fight your battles. From experience I can tell you that it may not happen the first time. And if it does, the problem may come back. That's okay. You just need to ask God to help you to keep fighting the problem. He's there for you even when your not sure He is.

Then comes the "Engage" part. Make a conscious choice to deal with the problem. Learn from past experiences. We can all learn from our failures. In the past 16 months I have had a lot of failures. More than I ever thought possible. I was hoping that being a Christian would make my issues go away. It doesn't work that way. You have to make that conscious choice to change them, "Engage". Get a mind set that with God's help you can change the way you deal with the things you tend to run from. Assume an obligation to your problem. "Engage" yourself with God.
Become meshed together with Him."Engage"...actively commit yourself to dealing with your problem with the help of God. He is there for you.

Even though I know that God told me all of this for myself I can't help but think that someone else needed all of this too. It seems for myself that I have to go down the same road more than once for every problem I encounter. Maybe God is just telling me that I can't let up and think that I've got it made. I still have to totally rely on Him to make it through on a day to day basis.

Just remember, GOD CAN. Whatever the issue.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


It's been two weeks now since the Lord let me know that I should start writing this blog. Already it's been an adventure. I don't plan ahead as to what I'll write. Take today for instance. I got up for work this morning and started to say a little prayer as I normally do everyday. Usually I start by saying something like, Good morning Lord, thanks for getting me through the night and letting me wake up for another day. Almost immediately the thought came to mind "Stay connected". First you need to understand that at 4:30 in the morning I generally don't have very many thoughts. Especially intelligent ones! So, I started to pray and there it was again, "Stay connected". Then I said, Okay am I supposed to write about this? As soon as I said that, the thoughts just started pouring into my head. Let me tell you that I have never experienced anything like this until I started doing this blog. Believe me when I say that I don't think I'm super spiritual or anything. I don't know why the Lord has decided to do this with me. But since He has I'm going to do my best to write what I think He was telling me this morning.

There are a lot of people today that really don't feel connected to anyone. They are just living life pretty much on there own. Oh sure, they may have family and maybe even some friends. But for some reason that they can't understand, they just don't have that connected feeling. They're missing something and they can't seem to figure out what it is. That's how I was. I was always searching for something that would connect me to the people in my life. I never really felt like I fit in with them. So I found someplace where I did fit in.

Back in the sixty's you could buy cigarette's out of machines. I remember when I was twelve years old I bought my first pack. Back then there were lots of cigarette and alcohol commercials on T.V. I always thought that people that smoked and drank were just too cool. I was always very quiet and didn't have many friends. So, needless to say, in my mind that was the way to find happiness and make friends. After all, on T.V., the people smoking and drinking were always surrounded by lots of people and they were having a great time. I decided that's what I wanted.
Since I was only twelve I had to be careful where I smoked but I could usually find a way. So I started junior high and decided that I was going to smoke, do drugs, and drink. At that time in my life, I didn't know it, but I was really just searching for a connection. I needed to be connected to something and up until then I just hadn't found it. Like I said before, I was raised in church. Every time the doors were open, I was there. But I didn't connect with those people. But I decided that didn't matter. As far as I knew, God didn't want me so I didn't want Him. That's just how it was. So I decided to have what I thought was a good time. The problem with good times is that at some point in your life you will pay for them. Believe me when I say, these are not the connections you want to make in your life. I'll get into all of that another time. The point is you need a connection.

God "IS" that connection. Whatever it takes, you have to find Him and connect, so to speak, with Him. You have to ask Him to forgive you. To live in you. Then you have to live "for" Him. You have to connect "with" Him. To connect with Him you have to talk to Him every day. You have to read His word, every day. In fact, do these things more than once a day. You can talk to Him no matter what you are doing. He is always listening. HE wants to stay connected to you. But you have to make the choice. He won't force you. You can connect with Him in other ways too. Just as T.V. influenced me to make bad choices it can also influence you in good ways. These days there is a lot of Christian programing. I'm not saying that all of it is good. There are some T.V. preachers that are in it for the money and the fame. But there are a lot of good ones also. Real Christian people. If your not sure which ones to watch, pray about it. You'll know. There is also Christian radio. Turn off the T.V. sometimes and listen to Christian radio. You might find something you can connect with. That's the whole point. Find something that can help you to connect with God. Find some other Christian people to talk to. Talk about God with them. It's important to be able to talk to other people about God, to be able to pray with other people. Just to be able to connect with other Christians and maybe let them in a little. Let them get to know you a little so there is a connection. A GOD connection. Don't be afraid to connect with other Christians. We are all here to help each other. Everyone has something to offer.

That's what He told me this morning. Write about staying connected. Connect to God through:
Prayer, reading your Bible, T.V. and radio and very importantly, through other people.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


I heard a great definition of fear recently; FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL.

It doesn't matter who you are. We have all experienced fear in some form. Fear of being alone, of being sick, of losing your job. There are a lot of different kinds.

I used to be very fearful. From the time I was a young child I was afraid of the dark. In fact I was afraid to be alone in the house even when it wasn't dark. As kids you hear noises and are sure that someone will get you. I had those same fears. Mine seemed to run a little deeper though. Remember in an earlier blog I told you about the hand on my chest? Well, I did always believe that it was real, not a nightmare, and that when I heard a noise it might be someone other than just your normal monsters kids are afraid of. As I grew up those fears never left me. Even as an adult I was always afraid. Afraid to be home alone, afraid to be in the dark, even afraid to go outside at night by myself. The older I got the worse my fears became. Then the nightmares started, but they were different. Sometimes my bed would move, sometimes someone would shake my leg. When I would open my eyes I would see someone standing at the end of the bed. Well, I probably don't need to tell you, there was no one there. No one in the physical realm that is. I would quickly turn on the light and of course they would be gone. Then about two and a half to three years ago it got so bad that I started sleeping with my light on most every night. Sometimes I started with it off but eventually I would turn it on. Most of you are probably thinking that I'm just one of those crazy delusional people that needs meds. I knew that was not the problem. The problem was that I was living for the devil and not for the LORD. Being raised in church I knew that if only God would help me I would be okay. But I didn't believe He wanted anything to do with me. That was just satan filling me with lies, "Fear". False Evidence that Appeared VERY Real.

When you let satan take control of your life you open up a whole lot of opportunities for him.
He pretty much can do anything he likes with you. Because....he holds that fear factor over you.
It got to the point where I hardly slept and I was sick all the time. Even eating made me sick and one thing I love is food.

All this time I never stopped going to church. I was always hopeful that someday God would decide that He did love me and want me. After all. Isn't that what they always preach? God is a God of love. He loves you more than anything. I wanted to believe that, and I did for everyone else. Just not for myself.

Well, one day I finally did listen to God. For about a week God used different methods to speak to me. I kept thinking that it couldn't be God. He didn't love me or want anything to do with me.
Then one day I just couldn't take the way I felt any more. I talked with someone that I knew was a Christian and they prayed the sinners prayer with me. All of the bad, negative things in my life did not stop immediately. There was still bouts of fear sometimes. But I have found out that if you will just pray and ask God to help you and ask Him to take the fears away, He will. I don't have to sleep with the light on anymore. PRAISE GOD!!

Fear is the opposite of FAITH. You need to cast satan and fear as far away from you as you can. If you just have faith as small as a mustard seed you can do anything. You don't have to live in fear. Fear activates demonic influences but FAITH activates GOD. I have heard that the phrase "Fear Not" is in the Bible 366 times. I've never counted, but it sounds good to me. I have a bracelet that I wear most of the time that says "Fear Not" on it. I wear it as a reminder to me that with God I have nothing to fear. He is my source. He is my help.

Whatever your going through just turn it over to God and have Faith that He will help you through it. Don't fear that the worst will happen. Let God be God. Your God!

VERSES:Isaiah 43:5
Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your descendants from the east, And gather you from the west;

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

Isaiah 31:6
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


These past few days have been a learning time for me. I believe God has been teaching me, again, to just trust Him and listen to what He tells me to do. I've known for awhile that I am supposed to share my testimony but I wasn't sure how I was to do that. In fact for the longest time I didn't have any desire to. Then some months back God started speaking to me telling me I was going to give my testimony to large groups of people. Of course I immediately thought, NO WAY! If you knew me, you would know that two or three would be a large group. But, I just couldn't get away from the thought that it was going to happen. After awhile I started actually getting excited about telling people what God had done for me. Let me just say that on a one on one basis I had been telling people all along. But God was saying large group settings. Finally I said, okay lets do it. I thought once I said okay, God would open doors for it to happen. Well, nothing happened. Then about two weeks ago I felt God was telling me to start a blog. Again I thought it was just me thinking this and brushed it off. But, the thoughts persisted and then they were confirmed through a friend. She had told me many times I needed to write down my story. I would start it but never finish. But this time she said, I know you don't believe me but you need to write your story. I knew then that it was God telling me to start this blog. How much bigger of a group can you tell your story too? The next day I sat down in front of the computer and God told me what to write. He literally kept placing the thoughts within me almost faster than I could type them. Then again, just three days later, He gave me something else to write.
God is so good. If you will just listen to Him, He won't let you down.

Well, as it goes with everything you do, there is someone else that doesn't want you to tell your story. He wants to stop you, every chance he gets, so that you can't bring glory to God. If he can keep you from doing what God has called you to, then he wins. That's his goal. To win and keep you defeated. The thing is, You have to chose to let him do that. And, that's what I did. The day after writing my second post I started doubting that God was in it. The more I thought about it the more I doubted and the more confused I got. We all know who fills our minds with doubt and confusion. That would be satan. That's what he does. As long as you will listen to him, he will keep you tied up within yourself, so that you will be defeated. I even asked someone how you know for sure that your doing what God wants you to do. She reiterated to me how things had been falling into place and I just needed to trust God. He is in control. God is The Master of our universe. He will defeat satan everytime if we just trust Him and call on His name.

So, my goal, with Gods help, is to keep writing this blog and telling my story. With an occasional detour to talk about other things that God is teaching me. I have a lot to learn so there could be a lot of detours! Someday there may even be large groups of people sitting in front of me. Who knows! That's all up to God and whatever HE has for me. But, for now, I believe I have learned a valuable lesson. And I trust that I won't soon forget it.

I also believe that every day we need to put on the Armor of God so that we are better prepared to fight the devil. To stand against him. Read Ephesians 6:10-18

Saturday, December 6, 2008


It seems that many people sit in church's every week and never truly experience the love of Jesus Christ. That was me. I was born into a Christian home and was taken to church for the first time when only a few days old. I attended that same church my whole life until I moved away 4 1/2 years ago. Great church, great pastors and good Christian people. However, I never accepted what they told me. The problem wasn't the church the problem was with me. You see, even as children we have our own will. We can choose to believe what we want. We have to do what our parents tell us, but...we don't have to accept, or believe, what they believe. We can choose to go our own way. That's what I did.

One night when I was about 9 I was sleeping and something woke me up. There was a hand on my chest. It was warm and I could feel every finger individually. I knew that I was awake and I was not dreaming. I so much wanted to yell for my Dad because I knew that he could help me. the same time I was paralyzed with fear. After what seemed like an eternity I got enough courage to hit the hand and yell for my Dad. Of course the family runs in and I told them that someone was in the house and what had happened. My Dad checked everything and said no one was there nor could they have gotten in because everything was locked. Almost immediately, I knew it had been satan. I don't know how I knew this but I did. My parents started praying but I wouldn't calm down. I didn't tell them who I thought it had been because even at that age I believed that it wouldn't have done any good. I know now that satan is the master of lies and that he was already filling my head with them. From that night on I believed that satan had me and that God didn't want me. I of course was in church every time the doors were open because my Mom was a Sunday School teacher and my Dad was always a Deacon and on the church board. But...that didn't make any difference. No matter what was preached I had one belief.
God was not interested in me. That incident started me going the opposite way from God. Even though I was always in church, my life revolved mostly around church functions and my friends all attended church...I did everything I could that went against everything I was taught there.

I believe that God has a plan for your life from before you are even born. And, I believe that He had a plan for mine. I also believe that satan knows this and he has a plan to. His plan is to thwart every plan that God has. I don't know what God's plan was for my life then, but I believe His plan for my life now is to tell everyone I can what He has done for me and what He wants to do for them if they will only let Him. Satan is the master of lies. Satan is a deceiver. He will do everything in his power to keep you away from God. It is only by the grace of God that you can escape the hold satan has on you.

If you are not a believer in Jesus Christ you need to ask Him to forgive you of your sins right now, today. It doesn't matter what you have done, GOD will forgive you. Satan will tell you He won't but don't believe him. Just say a simple prayer and ask Him to forgive you of your sins. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just honest. Something like:
Father, I believe in you and I believe you love me. You gave your Son to die so I can live. Forgive me of my sins today and help me to live for You. Thank You Jesus for hearing my prayer and for forgiving me. In Jesus name, amen. Then if you know anyone who is a Believer tell them that you accepted Christ today. Get a bible and start reading it and find a church to go to. And PRAY. Talk to God a lot because He will help you. No matter what happens don't give up!

Verses to look up: John 3:3 John 3: 14-21 John 11:25-26 The book of Romans

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


I'm sure you've all heard the saying "No pain no gain". We talk about it when we exercise, play sports or anything else that we have to work at to improve ourselves. The same is true when you're talking about spiritual things. When you first become a follower of Jesus Christ there are a lot of things in your life that you have to change. It's a spiritual workout. The minute you ask Jesus into your heart you become a new creation but you still have your old nature. You have to work at changing and ask God to help you. It's not always easy. I can tell you that from experience. You sometimes have to have pain before you see any gain.

I've been a Christian since Aug. 10th, 2007. Since then there has been many times of pain. But I have learned that you don't go through pain for nothing. Pain gives you credibility. Yes, we generally cause our own pain because of what we do. But..God then uses our pain to help us grow stronger in Him and then we can help others by sharing with them what God did for us. Also, we come to know God in a way that we never would if we didn't go through pain. No matter where we've been or what we've done we all have some sort of pain. Our pain. We all know God in a way we wouldn't if we didn't have pain. It's a common denominator for all of us. The thing we want to remember is not to waste our pain. Learn from it. Grow because of it. Don't go backwards because you think you can't make it through the pain. Your pain might be caused from many different things. Mine was. My pain was caused from things that happened in my past. Much of it from things I brought on myself. Drugs, drinking, divorce a lot of different things. Some of my pain was caused from what others did. Then their was still more pain that was caused from satan himself. I believed something that he placed in my thoughts as a child. Because of my belief in what he told me, instead of believing what the Bible says, I had a lifetime of pain. But I'm here to tell you that if you will believe what the Bible says and listen to God you can cut out a whole lot of pain.

That's what my blog is all about. God, Jesus Christ, and what He can do for you.
I'm going to use my story to relate to you how I came to know Jesus as my personal savior. I'm going to start at the beginning, which as I remember, I was 9 or 10. I am now 53 so there's quite a bit to say. I went through a lot over the years, most of it being my own doing. I want to say right now that I am not proud of the things I'm going to tell you. But, because of Jesus and who HE is, I am a new creation. The purpose of me writing this blog is not to just tell you my story. Most of you don't know me and will never meet me here on this earth. My purpose for this is that if you don't know Jesus you will meet Him and then we will see each other in Heaven someday. If you are reading this and you are a Believer already, then maybe your purpose for being on this site is to pray that people will find Jesus through this. And, maybe you have friends or relatives that aren't Believers and you can send them to this site. Whatever the reason, Believer or Non-Believer, I welcome your comments. I'm sure some of you Non-Believers reading this now think I'm crazy. I understand that. I used to be one of you. All I'm asking is that you keep checking back and reading, if for no other reason, just to give yourself something to laugh at.

I will try to post one new blog every week. So check back and see what God has in store for all of us.