Friday, October 30, 2009


Today, October 30th, has been a day of reflection for me. For about a week now I've been having a hard time "connecting" with God. I know it's not His fault, it has been mine. It's just been one of those times when I try to read the Bible and it seems's just words on a page. Talking to God...feels like I'm surrounded by stone. I remember that feeling all to well from before I became a Christian and I don't like it. But, like I said, it's my own fault. I asked someone once...What happens if you don't do what God tells you? She just said...Remember Jonah? So...

this whole downhill slide started for me because I became afraid to do what God told me to do. He told me to give a friend a book. At first I thought it was a great idea. The next day when it came time to do this, fear over took me. Everyday I took the book to work and everyday I brought it home. With each day it became harder and harder to talk to God and I finally wasn't even picking up my Bible.

When you know that God told you to do something, and you don't do it, you are asking for all kinds of complications in your life. Don't listen to the wrong voice. The devil was the one making me fearful. He was telling me things like...she will probably just laugh at you...she will think you're a crazy religious person...she will talk about you with others...all negative things. The devil didn't want her to have the book. He knows if she reads it everyday, she will be hearing Jesus' words spoken to her. The devil doesn't want her to listen to Jesus' voice. I don't know if there's a specific reason the Lord wanted her to have it, or if it's just because she needs to find Him. Whatever the reason is, it doesn't matter. My job was just to give it to her. It's the Holy Spirit's job to speak to her through it. The Lord will take care of how she receives it.

Yesterday, I finally told her that I had something for her. I mentioned that I didn't want to offend her and if she didn't want it to just give it back...I was still not totally convinced that the Lord would take care of her reaction. Before she even knew what it was she said she would not be offended by what ever I had for her. So, I gave it to her and said it was something she could read everyday. She said...Kind of like a little insight for the day and I said yes. She may be a little surprised at what kind of insight she gets from it everyday. Since I'm sure God was in this the insight should be amazing!

I'm glad I finally did what God told me for a few reasons. One being that I do remember the story of Jonah. But the reason that means more to me friend needs to read the book. She needs to find God. Another reason is...talking to God and reading my Bible are very important to me. When I can't do that it feels like I'm lost...out in the middle of a desert with no one or anything around me...totally alone. When I started thinking about all of this today He immediately started telling me to write this down and share it. For about thirty minutes He was giving me thoughts, almost faster than I could write them, of other things to share. When you are obeying God, and doing what He tells you, life is good. Even when things go wrong, life is still good because the Lord is with you through it all, and you know it. In case you are wondering...

Her reaction to the book was all good. She thanked me and gave me a hug. And now...the rest is up to God.

Deuteronomy 31:6 (New Living Translation)

6 So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

Isaiah 41:13 (New Living Translation)

13 For I hold you by your right hand—
I, the Lord your God.
And I say to you,
‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Sometimes life gets so hectic
it seems all that you can do
Is to call upon the Lord
you know He will answer you

When you get into a battle
and your hope is wearing thin
It is then that you must realize
with God you will always win

God has always been there for you
through every battle you have faced
He has never let you down
when you call out for His grace

The Lord will get you through
He will take you to the end
All you need to do
is to put your trust in Him

So run the race with courage
never looking back in fear
Keep your eyes upon the Master
for the finish line is near

Monday, October 12, 2009


Wherever I go
throughout this life
Keep me stayed in You
make my heart right

At times I stray
You know that I do
But oh Father God
I only want You

The devil is wanting
me to come back
He is always there lurking
just waiting to attack

There is only one thing
that will keep him away
Hit my knees now
cry out to You today

Your Holy Word says
You will always forgive
As long as I ask You
and have faith that You did

So I come to You now
and bow at Your throne
Please Father God
don't ever leave me alone

Sunday, October 11, 2009


Today, while in Sunday School, I was given a chance to tell some of my testimony of what the Lord has done for me. I didn't do it. My response was, "Sometime I will"...I blew it. Many times in this past week my thoughts have been that I wanted to share what He has done for me. Whenever these thoughts would come up I would think, "I don't know when I will get a chance to do that, but it would be an awesome thing." I really want everyone to know how good the Lord is and what He can do for them. Talking about myself is not important but talking about the Lord is. Today while thinking about all of this I was reminded of a worship cd I have.
During one of the songs the worship leader says, "No matter how many times we mess up we get a new 24 every morning." If you think about it that's incredible. God gives us a new day and a new chance to serve Him, to the best of our abilities, every morning when we get up. No matter how many times we blow it today all we have to do is ask Him to forgive us. Then the next time we get a chance to do something for Him, just do it. He will be there to help.

God has always been faithful to me. He is always here with me. All I have to do is talk to Him and if I need help just ask. I don't know when He will give me another chance to tell people how great and awesome He is but...when He does, with His help, I will take the opportunity to share.

Lamentations 3:22-23
22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Friday, October 9, 2009


Sometimes things seem so hazy
can't decide which way to go
It's then I need to hear from You
so You can help my troubled soul

Then when I get all downcast
and my thoughts begin to stray
You bring me back close to You
and keep me on Your narrow way

The chasm seems so wide
between us now and then
I just can't help but hide
my feelings once again

Then You reach down to me
and the clouds begin to lift
I hear Your voice more clearly
and You heal the biggest rift

You bring me so much comfort
when I reach out to You
Your love is such a gift
it brings me joy anew

Monday, October 5, 2009


When I used to go hunting there were many times when I would have to choose which way to go. Walk uphill or downhill, over the fallen tree or around it, stay on the path or get further out into the woods. No matter which of those you choose you need to keep going in the right direction to get to the point where you meet up with everyone else. The point is you have to choose the right path to reach your destination. It works that way in every area of our lives. Just in our normal day to day living we have choices to make about which way we will go. What decisions we will make. The other day the Lord pointed them out to me as paths...

After I posted in my blog on Saturday, I started reading Job 22 again. Verse 15 stuck out to me and I knew the Lord was telling me I needed to change how I handle things sometimes. I knew there was something I was supposed to write about it, but I wasn't sure what. Today, while at work, this thought came to mind. There are two paths I can choose from. The right path and the wrong path. Everyday I have to make the choice many times. It's not always about the narrow path and the wide path that Matthew 7:13-14 talks about. Sometimes it's simply about choosing the right thing to do in everyday circumstances. When there is something that adversely affects me how do I react? If it's something that involves other people do they see Christ in my reaction or do they see the old me? The goal is, that they see the new me that is supposed to be Christlike. In reality there have been many times recently that they saw the old me. I had stepped back on to the old paths, the ones that were familiar to me. The Lord was telling me that I had been making wrong choices. I needed to get off the old paths of my past life and start walking on the new path that He has laid out for me.

So...that is my goal. To remember when things go wrong to stay on the new path. Old paths from my past life just tend to bring me down. Old paths hinder and sometimes destroy the progress that has been made in a new walk with Christ. That's what the Lord wants me to remember.

Job 22:15 (New Living Translation)

15 “Will you continue on the old paths
where evil people have walked?

Sunday, October 4, 2009


In my life I have had many habits. Some good and some not so good. Since becoming a Christian I have tried to form new habits that include the things of God. Many people say that the first thing you should do when you wake up, before even getting out of bed, is say "Good morning" to God and Jesus. Well, I don't. It seems I have to wake up before I remember much of anything. But, once I get in the car and out of the garage I say good morning and pray while I drive to work. The mornings that I don't do that never seem to go very well. It doesn't take long for me to remember that I didn't talk to God so I stop what I'm doing and talk to Him then. The reason I'm telling you this is because...

I was driving to church this morning and thought ,"Oh, I need to pray." My next thought was, "Why do I always forget to do that on weekends?" When I leave the house on Saturday or Sunday I rarely pray while driving. It occurred to me then that what I do every day is merely a habit. It's a routine I have gotten into. Immediately God brought to my attention that He does not want to be merely a routine. He wants me to talk to Him all the time because I want to, not just because I have made it a habit. He doesn't want our conversation to happen just because it's something I do everyday while driving. He wants it to happen because I want to talk to Him. He wanted me to know just because my daily routine changes on weekends my time to talk to Him should not. He should always be on my mind.

My thoughts were, having good habits and routines are a good thing but, making God a habit in anyway isn't. Having conversations with our friends and family are not habits. We talk to them because we want to and we talk to them when ever we can. That's how it should be with God. He was reminding me that we always need to be in communication with Him. Talk to Him continuously so when things go wrong your not just hoping He's there. You'll know He is.

Colossians 4:2 (New King James Version)
Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;

Philippians 4:6 (New King James Version)

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

Saturday, October 3, 2009


After posting last night God reminded me of a time when I was clearly struggling with things. It was during the first year I was a Christian and I was still having many issues with things of my past. This particular week depression had seemed to come out of nowhere and hit me hard. On Sunday I decided not to go to church because getting out of bed seemed almost impossible. When I finally did I started talking to God and asked Him what the problem was? Why was I feeling this way? At that point I picked up my Bible and opened to a place I had not read before.

Job 22:21-23 (New King James Version)

21 “Now acquaint yourself with Him, and be at peace;
Thereby good will come to you.

22 Receive, please, instruction from His mouth,
And lay up His words in your heart.

23 If you return to the Almighty, you will be built up;
You will remove iniquity far from your tents.

Verse 21 and 23 really stood out to me. The Hebrew word that translates to "acquaint yourself" sometimes means yield. Basically He was telling me I was to yield to Him.Then God told me to get rid of cd's and books that I had. To me these were not bad things but immediately I knew I had to get rid of them. So I did. Almost instantly the feeling of depression left me.

When God reminded me of this last night I wasn't sure why. I read the passage, left my Bible open to it, and then went to bed. I was thinking how lately things just hadn't been the same. The desire that was within me where I just couldn't seem to get enough of reading God's word wasn't there. When I would read it, it seemed that I got nothing from it. This was bothering me. Obviously this isn't a good problem to have. So, I asked God to help me to feel about it the way I used to. This morning I got up and read the passage again in a few translations. The difference was I read the rest of the chapter and the study helps for those verses. This is what He wanted me to see this time.

Job 22:26-28 (New King James Version)

26 For then you will have your delight in the Almighty,
And lift up your face to God.

27 You will make your prayer to Him,
He will hear you,
And you will pay your vows.

28 You will also declare a thing,
And it will be established for you;
So light will shine on your ways.

In one of the study helps it says for verse 26;

The Bible says that delighting in God means eagerly anticipating your time with Him. It means experiencing joy as you open His book and read what it says to you. It means feeling the thrill of hurrying to obey God's will. Delighting in God is savoring His love and His comfort and doing everything you can to keep delighting in it. It's the greatest joy God offers you this side of Heaven.

I had been missing that. Somehow I didn't know how to get back to where I had been. It seemed that even though I had been praying and asking God to help me to feel this way wasn't working. So God took me back to a point in time where He showed me before what to do. This time He showed me different things in the same passage. A friend recently reminded me that God lets you get out of His word what you need for the time you're in. This is so very true. In reading this morning things seem to be good again. Writing this was also good. I believe I have had a breakthrough in my "God Block."

Friday, October 2, 2009


The month of September was a hard month for me. I'm calling it a "Learning Curve." During this time it was hard to write anything. I depend on God to give me things to write about and it seems He has been pretty quite. Then again...maybe I just wasn't listening as closely as I should be. Whatever the case, I know that writing this is what I'm supposed to do, so if sitting here and struggling through it is what has to happen be it.
Writers often have what they call, writers block. I don't really consider myself a writer so that's not what my problem has been. I have had what I will call a "God block." Sometimes when things get really crazy I just stop doing all the right things. I seem to get caught up with the "problems" instead of getting caught up with the "problem solver"...GOD.

In August I started talking to God and asking Him to change me into the person He wanted me to be. Let me tell you...if you don't really mean it don't pray it, because God will give you opportunities to change. In my case it's usually not the opportunities I'm looking for. I would like things to be an easy, gradual change. Not an all out major challenge in my life change. Now I'm not saying that God causes the problems but I think He lets us struggle with them until we start doing the right things. By that I mean...talking to Him about what's wrong and then believing that He will take care of it and reading His word. When the issue is something big I seem to lack in those areas. Personally, I had visions of grabbing the people involved in my problem and smacking their faces into their desk a few times until they got a clue that I had had enough of them. Since orange jumpsuits really aren't my personal taste in clothing I refrained from doing that. Instead I just got angrier and angrier until I was sick. Then I finally decided it was time to"really" start talking to God about this. I had actually been talking to Him about it from the start but after a few weeks of things continually getting worse instead of better, I gave up on Him doing anything about it and started thinking of all the worst scenarios that could happen. Then I realized, again, that I cannot change things. God is the only one that can take the bad situations in my life and change them for good. He is the "problem solver" we are not.

So, here I am right back where I was a few weeks ago. When I finished that last paragraph the words of a scripture came to mind. I actually had not even thought of this scripture during this time at all. But the words that just went through my thoughts were...More of Me and less of you. The actual scripture says; He must become greater, I must become less. John 3:30. You would think that as many times as God reminds me of that, I would be getting much better at doing it.

It's amazing how God works through our problems, or our pain, and helps us to grow. We just have to be willing to listen to what He is telling us and be open to what He is teaching us. Growth most always seems to be painful, at least for me. But, if you're willing to learn and to grow, God will be there to see you through it. The main thing is, do not give up on God. He is there with us the whole time, even when we don't think that He is.

James 1:2-4 (The Message)

2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.