Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I listen to a lot of music and there is a song that is getting a lot of air time lately. It's called; HEALER by Kari Jobe. It quickly became one of my favorite songs to listen to...I even bought a cd with HEALER on it. The song talks about how Jesus heals us and that nothing is impossible for Him. He is all we need and He does everything for us. He is the ultimate, He's more than enough for all of our needs. The thing is...do we really believe it?

That can sometimes be really hard to do...believe. Believe totally in Him and that whatever the issues are...spiritual, emotional or physical, He can heal you. That's probably the reason I'm writing this post. The Lord has been reminding me how He healed me of so many things since I became a Christian. On the flip side of that, He has also been reminding me that there are still more things that He wants to heal me of. The question is...will I let Him? That brings up the shortest lines in the song...I Trust In You...I Trust In You...but I believe maybe the most important lines.

Do I really trust enough to let Him do what ever He wants to do in my life? If I truly believe that He is my Healer then I have to put my full trust in Him and let Him do what He wants to in my life. It's telling the Lord...Okay, I'm not going to go back anymore to what I used to be. From this point on I'm only going to go forward and let you have complete control of my life. A complete and total surrender to God. Can I do it?

It's kind of like writing these things and posting them on my blog. Some days and some posts are a whole lot easier than others to write and post for everyone to read. I have had to learn to say...I trust You Jesus...and then post it. It all seems to be a learning process and how much you "really" want to change and be healed.

So...I Trust You Jesus.

Who else will say it?

Psalm 107:20 (New King James Version)
20 He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions

John 14:27 (New Living Translation)
27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

Saturday, November 14, 2009


The last couple of weeks I was having a hard time with the whole concept of living for God. I didn't think I was doing a very good job. There was a lot of doubt and a few, what I will call, crazy thoughts. I even posted a poem called, Failure, because I was sure that I was failing big time. During that time I would sit here at my desk and feel like I was just sinking a little more everyday into something dark and heavy. If you read my posts you know what I'm talking about. The funny thing is, I was just writing what I was thinking. Like I have mentioned in past posts, once I get too far "down"...I guess is a good word...I stop reading my bible and talking to God. You could probably pretty much call it "quitting". Anyway, after posting the poem I received comments, and devotions, that all pertained to what I wrote about. Even so I was still a little "stuck" in my thoughts. Then the Lord gave me something else. I wrote it down in poem format but I'm not really sure if that is what you would call it. I never posted it because I can sometimes be a little hesitant...not being quite sure of what to do with what He gives me. I'm not really sure why it's hard sometimes. Tonight after posting, He Is Always Near, this just kept coming to my mind and I think that I am to post it. So here it is.

I am always here for you
even when you can't tell
My love for you never fades
I won't ever go away

I have always loved you
you are my child
When you are scared
I will hold you in my arms

No matter what your circumstance
you will always be safe with Me
Just reach for My hand
I will help you to breathe

Why do you run from me
when things are hard
I am always there to help you
if you will only call out My name

When things in your life
seem never to change
Look to Me the Lord your God
I can help you to heal

You will be amazed
at what I can do for you
You are My child
just come to Me


Sometimes life is hard
for all of us here
It's then that you help us
You always draw near

But how do we know
that you're there in the dark
When the shadows are around
and we feel cold in our hearts

We just must remember
Your words that we've read
That's why You have told us
don't just keep them in your head

Store them in your hearts
for times just like these
Tell them to your friends
then get down on your knees

Ask them to pray
we can all use the help
Of each others prayers
so we can always win out

Then you pray to your Father
your Lord and your King
Ask Him to help you
to make your heart clean

He's there right beside you
every moment of your life
Lift your praises to Him
keep Him close all the night

Sometimes your afraid
He knows all of that too
He really is there
only He can get you through

Sleep well tonight friends
and family too
The Lord is there with you
He really really loves you

Thursday, November 12, 2009

EXODUS 14:13

It's kind of mind boggling to me how sometimes I lose my way and start wondering if everything that has happened in the last two plus years is real or if I have just been playing a game. Lately I have been experiencing a few doubts about things.

You see, all of my life I pretended to be something I wasn't so that no one would ask me questions. Every Christian I knew thought that I was also a Christian. As long as they thought that, there was no questions asked of me. Then the last couple of weeks things have been happening that have made me question whether or not I had really changed. Was I still just playing a game? After all, I had gotten very good at it. My questioning all of this is what I think caused me more problems. All of a sudden I seemed to be filled with fear and I didn't know why that was. When I started writing this, is when it all started making sense to me...

Satan has been filling my head with doubt and fear and I have to take responsibilty for listening to him. What I have figured out in the last couple of hours is that; every time GOD starts working in my life in some way...that devil starts working on me also. He doesn't want me to listen to GOD and continue to grow in HIM. He wants to keep me bound up in every way he can. Sometimes I must think...subconsiously of course...that listening to the devil is easier because changing is too hard. One thing that I heard recently is, if you don't show emotion or, shed a tear occasionally, you are just hard hearted. So my thoughts were, how could you be a Christian and be hard hearted? And THAT! is when the fear set in.

Have I been playing a game? NO! GOD is real and HE has changed my life. This has not been just a game. We have to guard our hearts and minds against satans attacks. He's waiting for his chance to mess you up. Don't let him do that. Stand firm and keep fighting.

Exodus 14:13 (New International Version)

13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today."

Sunday, November 8, 2009


Do you ever check out
one thought at a time
While you try to hold on
hoping all will be fine

Does your heart ever crack
with the weight of it all
You can't find your grip
you are sure you will fall

Your mind can't think
of even one thing
except what you know
will only bring pain

You've tried it before
it just causes a spin
Of all that is good
you know you can't win

Why won't it stay gone
it's some sort of test
To see what you learned
You are not at your best

Afraid of the failure
of the sadness it brings
It's clear too you now
no hope can you sing

It was conquered before
life was so good
Can you turn it around
or will you fail for good

Friday, November 6, 2009


In my last post I was talking about how some things that you struggle with just keep coming back time and time again. I have some of those things in my life. Things that are just a constant struggle for me. At times they don't bother me at all. That is when I get comfortable. I start thinking...Yep, I got it beat, I will never be bothered by it again. Then WHAM!!! Just like when a charging lion attacks it's prey...I am blindsided one more time. That's when I have to ask myself...

Why does it happen with such force? Why am I so surprised by the onset of this struggle happening again? In my mind these are good questions that I have asked myself many times. My answer usually depends on what the struggle is about. If I am struggling with a temptation the answers come easily for me. I have been down that road sooo many times. But...sometimes my battle is not a temptation. Sometimes it's what I call a mind attack. You might not know what I'm talking about so I will try to explain...

Any "thing" that satan can use to keep your mind on something other than GOD, and the things of GOD, he will use. He will attack us in our thoughts...a mind attack. For me it's something that is defined as; False Evidence Appearing Real...plain and simple, it's called FEAR! In one form or another I had a problem with that for years. Since becoming a Christian GOD has helped me to overcome most of those things. But, every now and again something happens that brings the old fears back. Usually it's just a thought. Something that takes place in the mind.

However, satan is a crafty thing. He doesn't bring them all back at once, he starts small. He plants the thoughts in my mind one at a time. A little here and a little there. Before I know it I'm struggling to stay on top. Out of the muck and mire that fear can drag you down into. The problem is, I don't always realize what is going on right at the start. When you don't catch on right away the hold on you just gets stronger. The question now is...how do you stop the fear?

Now I will try to answer those questions.

Why does it happen with such force? Because satan is trying to knock us off course. The harder he hits us the more off balance we will be. If he can keep us afraid and filled with fear we won't be a lot of good when it comes to talking to people about GOD. We won't be able to do the work that GOD has for each of us to do to further HIS kingdom. And, we won't be growing in our own lives because we are only thinking about what we are afraid of and how to fix it. It could be that GOD has been preparing us for some sort of a breakthrough in our lives and the little devil doesn't want it to happen. There could be many other reasons.

Why am I so surprised that it's happening again? Like I said earlier. You get comfortable with how things are going. You start thinking that this is just a cakewalk. Life is good and "I" have it all under control. That is definitely the wrong way to think at anytime. Even if it's only for a moment.

How do you stop the fear? The best ways are to start talking to GOD and reading HIS WORD. Look up scriptures about fear. Try to memorize some of them. Keep your thoughts on GOD as much as you can. Tell satan to get away from you, that "you" are a child of GOD and he can't hurt you. Do whatever it is you need to do to only think about good and GODLY things. Thank the LORD for everything HE has done in your life.

The fears may not stop immediately. You may continue to have some problems with them for awhile. Don't give in or give up. The goal is to prove to the devil that...Because of your LORD and KING, you are stronger than anything he can throw at you.

2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James Version)
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Deuteronomy 31:6 (New King James Version
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

Isaiah 41:13 (New King James Version)
For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand,
Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’

Hebrews 13:6 (New King James Version)
So we may boldly say:
“ The LORD is my helper;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?”

Philippians 4:6-7 (New King James Version)
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


Do you ever wonder why the same issues keep coming back into your life over and over again? I do. Just when you think you have something conquered it comes back. Not just back like a little lamb or something, but back with a VENGENCE!! I remember an old saying...The serpent had reared it's ugly head. The phrase..."reared it's ugly head" dates back to the 1800's. Anything can "rear it's ugly head." It could be love...hate...rebellion...anything that you perceive as negative. For me serpent fits because satan is portrayed as a serpent in the Bible. The devil likes nothing more than to "rear his ugly head" and give you problems. He is not responsible for all your problems but I believe that some come directly from him. The Word talks about spiritual warfare.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6: 12

HE also tells us how to fight against it.

Put on God's whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil. Ephesians 6: 11

Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God. Ephesians 6: 14

You shall not fear them, for the Lord your God shall fight for you. Deuteronomy 3: 22

Blessed be the Lord, my Rock and my keen and firm Strength, Who teaches my hands to war and my fingers to fight Psalm 144: 1

That's what many things in our lives our...Warfare. We have to learn how to battle these things and win. We can only do that with the help of The Lord. We have to pray, read the word and stand our ground while believing that The Lord will help us get through whatever our battle is. The trick is not to give up or give in. Keep fighting.