Saturday, June 27, 2009


There's always a lot of talk about living your life to the fullest. The question you want to live it to the fullest by the standards of the world, or by GOD'S standards?

Only one life, 'twill soon be past,
Only what's done for CHRIST will last.

I remember hearing that phrase as a child quite often. In fact for most of my life I thought it was in the bible. Actually it is a poem. The next line is...

And when I am dying, how happy I'll be,
if the lamp of my life, has burned out for THEE!

Could that be said of you? I've thought a lot about that recently. In the terms of spiritual things, I wasted 52 years of my life. How much time have you wasted? We all have a choice to make once we become a Christian. Will we sit back and just thank the LORD that HE saved us and that someday we will go to heaven? Or...will we thank HIM and then live like we know HIM and use every opportunity we have to witness for HIM? When you are breathing your last, do you want to know that you did everything you could to help others find JESUS? That when you get to heaven there will be people there that will say they made it because of how you lived your life and how you witnessed to them? It's not so you can pat yourself on the back and say, "Look what I did. See all the people I brought to CHRIST." It's so that others can experience the joy of knowing JESUS as their SAVIOR and not go to hell. Have you ever seen, A Letter From HELL? You can go to Tangle, (GOD TUBE) and watch it. It will WAKE YOU UP! Here is the site...

Take every opportunity you get to tell people about what JESUS has done for you and what HE can do for them. I've talked about "your pain" before. GOD lets us all have some so we have things to share with people. HE doesn't cause us to have it but HE doesn't always prevent it either. We go through things and come out on the other side stronger. Then we can use those things to tell people how JESUS brought us through the pain. Sometimes, how HE carried us. What a testimony those things can be to show how JESUS is "with us" no matter what. The LORD will bring people into your path that need to here your story. You need to be in conversation with HIM all the time, so when HE does, you know it. Don't miss an opportunity.

This whole post came about because I had an aunt that found out about 4 weeks ago she was sick. Yesterday she passed away. She was a Christian but you would never have known it. She lived most of her life shut up in her home and rarely saw anyone other than her daughter. All the talents that GOD had given her, she wasted. She could play the piano like crazy, but only did it in her house. She was asked many times to use that talent in church, but instead, she just stopped going to church. She took all the pain from her life, turned it inward, and never let GOD help her with it so she could help others. We are not here to just exist, someday die, and then go to Heaven. That's a sorry, wasted, life. Once we become a Christian we need to ask JESUS to help us deal with our pain and use it to help others find their way to JESUS.

When you are leaving this earth you don't want one of your last thoughts to be...I wish I had spent more time with GOD. Getting to know JESUS better and helping others to know JESUS better. You want to be able to say...That you spent quality time with GOD everyday. Talking to HIM, reading HIS word and living out your life for HIM. And, to the best of your abilities, you did everything you could to help others find JESUS as their SAVIOR. Don't go "home" without giving others the opportunity to be able to be there with you.

2 Timothy 4:8
And now the prize awaits me, the crown of righteousness, which the LORD, the righteous judge, will give me on the day of HIS return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to HIS appearing.

1 John 2:28
And now, little children, abide in HIM, that when HE appears, we may have confidence and not be ashamed before HIM at HIS coming.

Matthew 25:23
The Master said, "Well done, MY good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let's celebrate together!"


When you get up every morning, and your feet hit the floor, you want the devil to start shaking and say, "Look out, they're up!"

Sunday, June 21, 2009


Did you ever know anyone with a rebellious nature? Or, maybe you have one. I have always been rebellious. If you've read much of my blog you have probably already figured that out. I was always drawn to anything that was even a little bit on the wild side. If I couldn't do it all, I could at least read about it, watch it, or listen to it. You would think after becoming a Christian the Rebel part of me would have changed. It has not. I still have that same Rebel streak in me. I believe that GOD put that in me for a reason. When GOD begin to change me, and make me a new creation in HIM, HE let me remain a Rebel. HE knew that I was going to need the stubborn, rebellious side to be able to stand for HIM. GOD can take the parts of you that satan uses for bad, and turn them around, for HIM to use for good. Generally speaking, these are not good traits to have. But for me, being a Rebel works well. With the LORDS help I am a Rebel for HIS cause.

If you really want to make a difference in the world you live in, you have to be willing to be a bit of a Rebel. You have to be passionate about living for JESUS in a way that lets others see HIM in you! More than anything you should want to experience JESUS to the fullest in your own life, and be able to help other people to want to do the same in theirs. That doesn't always mean people that are not Christians. Sometimes other Christians need a jolt to become passionate about JESUS again. Seeing you being all you can be for Him could give them the push they need to step up and become a Rebel for GOD also.

What do you need in order to take a risk and become a Rebel for GOD? You need to have courage. How do you get that courage? Read your bible and pray. Ask the LORD to give you courage to stand for HIM and be a light in the world around you. Sometimes you may have to tell people about JESUS and what HE did for them. Doing this will not always be easy. When you try to talk to them about JESUS they may laugh at you or even get mad at you. That's okay. It's more important that people know the truth and find GOD, than letting them go to Hell. I experienced this myself just today...

I was talking to someone on the phone that has major heart problems. In the past few months they have fallen a few times and not been able to get up for awhile because of it. In the past week they fell down outside and lay there for 20 minutes because they couldn't get up and no one else was around. They refuse to go to the doctor because they don't want to pay the bill and they say that if they die they're..."good with it. "They kept telling me they don't have a problem with dying and because I know they aren't a Christian I asked if they were sure about that. They said they were. I told them they needed to think about where they would go if they died. They immediately got mad and told me they were not going to have a religious conversation with me. The reason they weren't is because it would stress them out and because of their heart they don't need that right now. That tells me that they really aren't okay with dying. They got mad and hung up. That's okay. I know, and so does he, that he could die at anytime. If I didn't at least tell him to think about where he would go I wouldn't be doing the right thing. We can't force anyone to accept JESUS, but when you know HE is telling you to say something, you have to take the chance. It could be the last chance that person has to make the choice to accept CHRIST.

What is the most important thing we need to tell people? That JESUS loves them. That JESUS loves them with an unconditional love. It doesn't matter what they have done, or what was done to them, JESUS loves them. JESUS gave HIS life for them and HE wants to give them NEW LIFE. Tell them how HE can change their heart and life if they will let HIM.

John 3:16
For GOD loved the world so much that HE gave HIS one and only SON, so that everyone that believes in HIM will not perish but have eternal life.

Ezekiel 36:26
And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.

I believe that as Christians we are all called to share the gospel of JESUS CHRIST. It's the Great Commission.

Matthew 28:18-20
JESUS came and told HIS disciples, "I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

Where ever you are in your walk with the LORD, this is a good time to step it up a notch. HE has called us all to make a difference in the world around us.

Mark 16:15
And then HE told them, "Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone."

Be a little rebellious and become a Rebel for GOD. Help to change the world around you. People need to see JESUS and it might just be you they need to see HIM through.

Friday, June 19, 2009


Do you ever have days that somehow they just don't flow like they should? You seem to be doing okay but, you just can't keep your mind on what you're doing? Maybe you're trying to talk to someone and for no reason you're extremely nervous. The words don't come out right, or maybe they just don't come out at all! The more you try, the worse it gets, until your mind is just like a blank piece of paper. Don't feel to bad. It happens to me all the time. The only time I can count on words coming out the way I want them to is when I write a new post. The trick with that's not me coming up with the words. It's the Lord. I write whatever HE brings to mind and I don't always know what it will be. HE might give me an idea, but I don't know the whole thing until the post is done. Take today for instance...

When I'm at work I listen to Christian music with headphones on. On the radio this morning I heard an interview with a singer and he was telling what one of his songs was about. As soon as I heard it I knew that I was going to write something along those lines today. The thought has been kicking around in my head for a few days now but nothing has come of it. When that happens I always wonder if it's just me...wanting to write something...or if it's HIM, telling me I'm going to write it. When this is all going on in my head it's hard to concentrate on other things. Usually for my posts GOD takes me back to things that have happened to me in my past. Today was a little different. He took me back to how I used to feel in my past.

The singer on the radio this morning said that the song was about how we need to tell everyone what GOD has done for us. It's not about us, it's all about HIM. So, I thought that was it. What I was going to write about. When I sat down and started was when I found out what it really is I'm supposed to write about. What GOD does for us on an everyday basis. We all have things that GOD helped us with when we became Christians. For some there were physical addictions. For others they may have had a problem with lying, cussing, cheating or numerous other things that GOD has helped us all to overcome. If you stop and think about it there are many other things HE does for you everyday. HE provides income so we can have a place to live and food to eat. HE lets you wake up everyday so you can enjoy everything HE made for you. The sunshine, trees, wildlife, mountains everything in nature HE made for HIS and our enjoyment. But, most of all...HE made you! Maybe you don't like who you are. You might not like the way you look, your personality or anything else about yourself. But, GOD likes you. HE loves you. HE made you with your personality and how you look. Yes, you can change those things some, but the basics are still there. Today, HE let me know that HE has helped me to change a lot. If there are any parts of your personality that really need changing HE will help you to do that IF you will ask HIM to. Just remember that sometimes when we ask, HE doesn't always do it in the way we would like. But, I still ask and HE still answers...

I always wanted to be different. I didn't like the fact that it was so hard for me to talk to people. I could know someone for many years and still not be able to hold a conversation with them. Oh sure, I could talk but I would be so nervous it was hard to think or I would stumble on my words so much that after a while I would just give up and walk away. Most of the time I wouldn't even try because I would get so nervous it wouldn't be worth it. Then another thing was walking into a room or a building where people that I knew were going to be. Sometimes I just wouldn't bother to go in because it would make me so anxious I would almost be sick. When I became a Christian I was hoping for a personality transplant. Well, I heard that just doesn't happen. I'm kidding of course, but I was hoping that those things would get easier. I asked HIM to help me and I'm happy to say that overall they have. I'm still not the life of the party or anything but it is easier...most of the time. Except today! I haven't been able to hold a decent conversation at all today. My thoughts won't come together, I feel like running the other way when having to talk to someone and the anxiety has been unbelievable. So I'm thinking...WHAT is going on??? Then my thoughts are...

Everyday GOD helps me to live. Not just to breathe, and all the other essentials, but to actually LIVE! Before giving my life to HIM what I was doing was just existing, not living. HE helped me to remember how hard it was for me to just go to church. Not too many months ago I had to force myself to get out of bed and go. It was a major feat for me to just walk in and stay. Then sometimes I had to talk to people. That was hard too. I would get so anxious I didn't think I would live. Now I actually like to go. So HE took the opportunity today to let me remember how it used to be for me so I would be thankful that I am not who I was. HE let me experience all those same feelings I used to have all the time. I can tell you that I didn't, and still don't, like feeling that way. HE wants me to always remember, and be thankful for the fact, that I am a new creation in HIM. HE has changed me and is helping me on an everyday basis to be different. He wanted me to tell you that you also can be a new creation in HIM. You might not have the same problems that I have had but HE can help you to change whatever yours are. HE will help you daily. You might get rid of the addictions and habits you shouldn't have but the personality traits are still there. HE won't give you a new personality but HE will help you work on the one you have so you like and accept yourself. Everyone has feelings of inadequacy at times but they shouldn't rule our lives. Let HIM help you on a daily basis. That's what HE likes to do. Yes, HE likes to help you get rid of what most people consider the major problems in your life. But if you have ever had these other problems they can be major also. HE helps me with them on a daily basis if I remember to ask. Let HIM help you with your daily problems, whatever they might be. Ask HIM everyday to help you become the person that HE wants you to be. Whatever that is will be what's right for you.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:6 Do not fret or have anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to GOD.

Isaiah 43:18-19
Do not earnestly remember the former things; neither consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


It comes in waves
floats through your mind.
"I'm here to take you
no help you'll find."

What was that thought?
you ask yourself.
"It was just I
no need to doubt."

Another wave
broke through again.
"Come on now
I'll help you win!"

NO! you think
it can't be so.
He'll trick you now
he wants your soul.

You try to run
no where to go!
"I've got you now
I won't let go!"

But then you see
a shining light.
It's like a beacon
in the night.

You see a hand
reach through the beam.
HE says "Hold on,
I am your KING!"

"No need to fear
I'm always near."
"He can't touch you
For I AM here."

He picks you up
and holds you close.
Says "Rest now child"

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Have you ever been surrounded by people and still you feel totally alone? Probably everyone has at sometime in their life. You may even know someone that feels that way. The thing is, when they do they are probably not going to let you know it. Most people that are like that can hide it really well. They seem like everyone else you know. They go to work, go to church, live by you, they may even go to your house to visit with you. The point is...there are a lot of hurting people out there and you don't even realize that you know some of them. I used to be one of those people.

To everyone that knew me I was just like other people. I did all the normal things that everyone else I knew did. Went to work everyday, church every Sunday, went to family functions, whatever everyone else did I. But no matter how many people I was with, I was still alone. No one could change that for me. I thought that someday I would probably die of loneliness. In fact, there were times that I considered taking my own life because I was so lonely. When I was in high school one of my favorite songs was the theme song for MASH...Suicide Is Painless. Here's the lyrics; (Mike Altman & Johnny Mandel)

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be,
The pains that are withheld for me,
I realize and I can see...

That suicide is painless,
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.

The game of life is hard to play,
I'm going to loose it anyway,
The loosin' card I'll someday lay;
So this is all I have to say

That suicide is painless,
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.

The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
And to another give my seat
For that's the only painless feat.

That suicide is painless,
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
And you can do the same thing if you please.

I used to get my guitar and play that all the time. I would sit in my room, play this song and think of ways to kill myself. I always thought that I would just take a handful of pills because then it truly would be painless. I always had enough so that if I really did decide that was what I was going to do, it wouldn't be a problem. I know now, that even then, God had a plan for my life. As I got older, and things in my life would go wrong, I would sometimes think how easy it would be to get some pills and take them. But, in the back of my mind, I knew if I did that I would go to hell. I did not want to go there. Some how I knew, that if I could just find GOD, everything would be alright. So, over the years I gave up the thought of suicide. I focused then on trying to get GOD to want me, to accept me. I didn't understand then, that all I had to do was accept HIM. I just had to ask HIM to forgive me and to come into my heart.HE was more than willing to accept me.

That's all you have to do. If you think about killing yourself, you need to ask GOD to help you to want to live. If your lonely and feel like there's no one here that really cares about you...GOD does. HE will always be there for you. Other people can't always be with you. Sometimes you will be alone. But, if you have The LORD, HE'S all you need. Sometimes because of things that happen to us, or because of things that we do, satan gets in and puts thoughts in our minds. That's how he beats us. He plants a thought one loves'll always be alone...look at everybody else you know, they all have people that care about them and you're all alone. He is good at telling us those things. What you have to do is ask for forgiveness. Ask JESUS to come into your heart, forgive you of your sins, and then live for HIM. It's that simple. Do it today so you don't have to fight these thoughts anymore. Then you will have all kinds of help to win whatever battle you are fighting.

Even after you become a Christian he will tell you things to get you to go back to your old habits...your old way of thinking. He did me. At times I thought he was going to win. I would play some of those same thoughts I used to have over in my mind. Just remember, you are in a battle for your mind. That's how satan beats us. If he can win that battle he can make you fail, and sometimes get you back. You have to be strong. Pray, read the bible and pray some more. Will you still have battles after becoming a Christian? YES, you will. Can you win those battles? YES, you can. You will have the help of GOD, JESUS, and the HOLY SPIRIT living in you. And, you can ask other Christians to pray with you so you can win those battles.

Hebrew 13:5
Never will I leave you,
Never will I forsake you.

2nd Corinthians 12:9
But HE said to me, "MY grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weaknees."

Romans 12:2
Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let GOD transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know GOD'S will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Philippians 4:7
And the peace of GOD, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through CHRIST JESUS.

John 8:32
And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.

John 3:16
For GOD so loved the world that HE gave HIS only begotten SON. That whosoever believeth in HIM should not perish but have eternal life.

Sunday, June 14, 2009


After writing my "Skeletons" post I was having a little trouble staying positive. I wrote it on the 9th and really didn't get a complete release from the feelings I was having about it until today after church. I was questioning GOD about why HE was making me relive this moment in my "history"? Why, if GOD only wanted good things for me, was HE bringing back all the thoughts and feelings I had when I lived through it the first time?? Well, a good friend said to me that HE is doing a cleansing and healing to the core of my being. Once I decided to let that happen it's amazing how my thoughts changed. Was it still a hard thing to go back and think about all over again? YES, it was. But, am I better off now because GOD brought it out in the open and I don't have to feel guilt and shame over it? Yes, I am. Did I learn things through all of this? Yes, I did. This is what I learned...

GOD wants to have control over every area in our lives. We all have things that we think are hidden and no one knows about. GOD knows about them all. We don't always have to share them with everyone unless GOD tells us to. GOD only has you do, what is good for you. What will make you "whole". HE wants to heal you of all of your hurts, your wounds, and even what you consider the tragedy's of your life. We have to be willing to let HIM do that for us. If we don't, we won't get better and we won't be able to help other people that have had similar experiences in their lives.

Through all of this I had to make a choice. I had to choose if I was going to let GOD do what HE needed to do in me, so that I could live for HIM and do what HE wants me to do. Until I was driving home from church today I had not completely made that choice. Then something the Pastor said in service kind of hit me in the head. We are covered by "The Blood of JESUS"! It didn't matter how disgusted, sick or vulnerable I was feeling...the LORD is here with me and I don't have to feel these things if I don't want to. All I had to do was make a choice that I was going to let the LORD have control over my thoughts and feelings about this incident in my past. I could let it consume my thoughts or I could let it be part of "my story" to help others. I choose to let the past be the past and to use it as a tool to help others find the peace that only HE can give.

What ever you have in your past can also be used to help other people. It isn't always non Christians that need help. Sometimes it's other Christians. We all have a past and things that have left scars. Just remember that scars are good. If you have a scar, it is a wound that has been healed. The more scars you have, the better off you are. If there is no scar there yet, you need to ask GOD to heal you of that wound. You don't have to be physically sick to need healing. Many times it's your mind that needs healing or renewed. HE wants to heal you of every wound you have. Let Him do that for you. You have no idea how much better and free you will feel when HE is done.

2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

2 “But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture.

2 O LORD my God, I called to you for help
and you healed me.

Friday, June 12, 2009


In this past week I have questioned GOD as to why HE had me write my last post. I know that I really don't have a right to question GOD about anything. I also know that HE uses the events of my past for healing in me as well as to help others. I believe that besides the healing, HE is also trying to tell me what to do when I am having a hard time. He does this at times by giving me poems. Because others of you may also have a hard time understanding HIS ways, this is what HE gave to me.

In the times when you can't make it
don't have the will to try
God puts his arms around you
and holds you while you cry

In the times that you are troubled
and peace you cannot find
God is the only one that's able
to still and quiet your mind

In the times that you can't see it
can't even understand
God is still there working
you just have to hold to his mighty hand

In the times when you most need it
trust and faith are hard to find
God will always be with you
just look up his face you'll find

I believe what HE is saying is...We need to rely on HIM no matter what we are going through. We need to read HIS word and pray, always.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


I once heard a song done by Carmen that says; When satan reminds us of our past we need to remind him of his future!! I liked that. Have you ever had GOD remind you of your past? He did me just the last couple of days. He brought something back to my memory that really wasn't forgotten, I had just pushed it aside. I think from time to time everyone does that with something. We all have "skeletons in our closets". The question is...What do you do with those skeletons?

Well...for me, I write about those skeletons. Last December I told GOD that whatever HE wanted me to write, I would. Yesterday, and again today, I tried to back out of it. But...HE keeps telling me to write. For some reason, and sometimes I'm not sure what that is, God has me share my pain, if you help others that may have went through similar things. And, as I have shared before, when I do that GOD also starts a healing process in my own life. I want to tell you right now that it can sometimes be painful. GOD doesn't promise us that life will always be easy. HE just asks that we trust and obey HIM and HE will always be there for us. HE will never leave or forsake us. You will find that in Hebrews 13:5. That is quickly becoming one of my favorite verses. So as you may have guessed, GOD has asked me to share something out of my past again.

When HE first told me to write about this I said "NO". I was at work and like so many times before HE filled my thoughts with words for me to write in this blog. I knew that's what I was supposed to do with it. This time however is different than other times. It's not about something I had done, but something that was done to me. That makes a lot of difference. Things that you do are a choice. If you choose to do something it's not as hard to tell others about it. But the things that are done to you, you have no control over. That can sometimes make it very hard to tell other people. So I pushed it out of my thoughts, turned my music up, and kept working. About three songs later the lyrics were..."There's a famine in the land and we have a pocket full of seeds." Well, don't you know my next thoughts were..."People are suffering keeping some of the same secrets you have." "People are dying"...the famine..."and you can help them, you have the answer"...pocket of seeds. I did not want to hear that. I pushed it out of my mind again and kept working. There were a few times last night and today that it entered my mind but I didn't let it stay long. Then when I was driving home from work today God brought the incident flooding back into my mind. I think I remembered every detail. Then HE told me that this was one of the main reasons that I had lived my life the way I had. Here's the story....

The summer before I started 7th grade, someone that my family knew well, tried to rape me. He was a big guy. Six' five, about 250 pounds. He took me for a ride on his motorcycle out into some rock beds. I won't give you any details of what happened except to say it was a horrible experience. Short of him committing the final act, I hit him with something and got away. I now believe that it was GOD that gave me the strength to get away from him. The only other person that ever knew was his wife and she made me promise not to tell. I was 12, and scared, so I didn't. Over the years he apologized a few times and I always told him I forgave him. Since I have become a Christian I can truly say I have forgiven him.

When GOD brought all this back to me today, HE told me that it was one of the main reasons I had made the choices that I did while growing up. He let me know that I chose drugs, alcohol and every negative emotion that I had because of this. All of the other emotions like love and happiness I had in effect pretty much shut down because of this. HE told me that this act was the root cause of the reason I chose the path I had. This was a person I had completely trusted and because he violated that trust, I was never the same.

So for two days now HE has been asking me to write this and I have been saying "NO". GOD has done so much for me that I know HE will make it all okay. It's hard to put my story out there sometimes, but I know I just have to trust GOD. For anyone out there who has gone through something like this maybe GOD had me write this for you. I don't know. All I can tell you is, if you will let GOD help you with the pain of your past, HE will. HE is there waiting for you to bring it to HIM. Believe me when I say, that without the LORD, I would not have had the courage to write this.

JOHN 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world

NAHUM 1:7 The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and HE knows those who trust in HIM.

PSALMS 145:8-9 The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The LORD is good to all, and HIS tender mercies are over all HIS works.

God shows patience and understanding everyday of our lives. HE is always there for me even when I don't want to do what HE says. As soon as I run to HIM, HE shows me mercy and forgives me for not trusting and obeying HIM. HE knows it's not always easy for us to do as HE asks. If you have not asked HIM to forgive you and come into your life you need to do that. HE's waiting to hear from you and be the LORD of your life. Talk to HIM today. Don't wait until it's too late. HE died for you. You need to live for HIM.

LUKE 12:8 Also I say unto you, Whosoever shall confess me before men, him shall the Son of man also confess before the angels of GOD.

JOHN 6:35 And JESUS said unto them, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who abides in Me shall never thirst."

ACTS 3:19 Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the LORD.

GOD will help you with your past. HE will help you to deal with it and HE will heal your pain because of it. HE doesn't care if it's things that you have done or things that have been done to you. I was 52 years old before I gave HIM a chance to help me. I didn't believe that HE cared. But believe me when I tell you, HE cares more than you can imagine. HE LOVES YOU!! Let HIM. You just have to open the door a little and HE will be there for you always.

A friend told me that he likes it when I write of my past because it shows what GOD can do if we let HIM. What are you going to let GOD do for you???

Saturday, June 6, 2009


For the last few months there has been something pretty serious I can't stop thinking about. It's a question that at some point we as Christians may have to answer. The early Christians had too, as many Christians in foreign lands and some here in the U.S. have had too. The question is: Would you die for what you believe in? Actually God is asking...Would you die for ME?? That's a hard question to answer.

When I first asked myself that question I was driving down the road praying. I don't know what I was praying about but I remember saying, "I would die for you." Then the realization of what I had said hit me. When I really stopped and thought about it I had to wonder if I really would or if I was just "caught up in the moment", so to speak. Since then that question has went over and over in my mind. God keeps asking, "Would you die for me?" have to think about all He has done for us. The biggest thing...He sent His son to die on the cross for us. He took all of our sins upon Himself. He was made fun of, beaten, tortured and eventually hung on a cross so that we could "live" and someday go to Heaven to be with Him forever. Such a selfless act. That was "Extreme Love". Who else would die for you, show that kind of love for you? Your spouse or even your family might, but that's all they could do. Just die. Look at all Jesus has done for you since dying on that cross. Everyday He keeps you safe. He takes care of you like no one else ever could. When you've been sick...He has been there to see you through it. For many of us, He has healed us of diseases. He keeps us safe when trouble comes our way. He comforts us when we lose a loved one. He brings food when you don't have money to buy it for yourself. He gives you Christian friends to help you through hard times when He knows you aren't strong enough to get through on your own. He does so many things for each of us that it is impossible to list everything. But...above all else, He loves us. If He never did any of those things except die for us, that would be all that mattered. His act of dying was His major act of love.

Someday you may have to answer the question..."Would you die for Me?" It might not be a simple yes or no, or even...I don't know. You might have to make the choice. Many Christians before us have had to do just that. Many have been killed just because they were Christians. What is your faith really like? Do you really believe what you say you do? Are you close enough to Him, does He mean more to you than anything else, even your own life, to make the right choice if you are asked too? We can only pray that we, or the people we care about, never have to answer that question.

But if you do just remember what He tells us in scripture...

Hebrews 13:5 "Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you."

Isaiah 43:2-3a When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up: the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel. Your SAVIOR.

Isaiah 41:10 "Don't be afraid for I am with you. Don't be discouraged for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

After you think about that question for awhile, there's another you might want to ask yourself. One that has more meaning for you right now...Are you "really" willing to live for Him today?? If you are, you can have a profound impact on the world around you. Boldly live out your faith so that the words of truth you speak to others will get into their minds and hearts and they will come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Some will get mad and turn away. But others will come to know Him. That is what we are here for.

Proverbs 11:30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise.

2 Timothy 4:2 Preach the Word; Be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction.

Monday, June 1, 2009


Since December 3, 2008 I've been writing this blog. In that time I have had many ups and downs in my journey with God. Writing has been a new experience for me. It's never been something that I've done much of and God has helped me through all of it. HE has helped me to grow by using my past to teach me about my future. Without my past I wouldn't have experience's to draw from that may help someone who is reading this. It's only the Lord that can change people but He uses Believers to get His message out. HIS message of Grace and Mercy. There have been times when I have tried not to write what He wanted me to. Sometimes I feel like I am repeating myself. In those times there were long periods in between posts. But...I would eventually see it God's way and then know that what I wrote would possibly help someone. It has even helped me. God will help you to grow in your life with Him if you are willing to do what He asks of you. You might not always do it perfectly, but He doesn't ask for perfection in anything. Just that we do it with a pure heart. He has brought many memories back to me through all of this. For awhile I questioned why. I now realize that He has been using this for healing in me. It is still hard to be so open about these things to everyone who reads this but...somehow I know this is how it has to be. And, I've come to know that most people that judge you for your past have a lot of things they are hiding. If they can't except you for who you are now, and not hold your past against you, then you don't need them anyway. Maybe God has been telling you to do something you wouldn't normally do. If He is, jump out there and do it. It is mind boggling and flat scary at times, but you will be better for it later. And so...another memory that I thought was long past...

It's funny, but the only two times I got an A+ on anything I wrote, was on two papers in my senior English class. The first subject was...What would you do if you knew this were your last day on earth and you couldn't tell anyone. I actually found the papers a couple of years ago in an old book. Thinking back, I remembered writing that paper and even what my thoughts were about it. If you have been reading this blog from the beginning you can probably guess what I would have done.'re right. This is the story in a nutshell. What I wrote was...I would have acted as if it were just a normal day and treated my family as I always had. No hugs good-bye, no kisses, no sentiment or feeling of any type. Then I would have went and picked up my friend and we would have smoked dope all day and had a good time until it ended.

The second subject was...Pick something you know about and tell what it would be like to be that object. Well, of course I picked a joint. I said my name was MaryJane, which was another name for marijuana. I went on to explain how I was grown, picked, dried and sold. Then I went into great detail on how I was rolled into papers and smoked. The great feelings I gave everyone who passed me around and how good I felt making them all feel good. How much everyone needed me and how I made them feel good about themselves. I ended it with how everyone would keep the last small piece of me so that when they didn't have enough money to buy more they could use what was left of me again. That small piece was called a roach. A disgusting name for a really disgusting addiction. Of course, I didn't write that in the paper.

I remember when I wrote the first paper that I wanted it to be different. If that really were to happen I wanted to be able to tell my family I loved them and feel it. Not go out and get high and die with my friends. I just wanted to feel something and that was the only way I knew of to do that. The second story just shows more of my willingness to believe the devils lies. Drugs made me feel good. That was the only way I knew to get that feeling. It's a feeling that all of us crave. To feel good and to feel loved. Satan had been lying to me for years and would lie to me for many more. The sad part is...I believed him. He had a death grip on my life.

About 5 years ago I decided to make a change in my life. I moved away from the town I had always lived in and my family. I left everything I knew to come to a place I had visited for 3 days. Everyone thought I left so I could find a good job...because that's what I told them. The real reason was...I thought if I went to a town where no one knew me that God might decide to give me a chance. He might feel sorry for me, so to speak, and let me find Him. I think now that it was all His plan, not mine. He has a plan for our lives and sometimes He has to get us away from everything we are comfortable with to bring it to pass. That's how I see it. There is a scripture that I have used in my blog before.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to give you hope and a future."

Before I moved I had no hope in my life. But...little by little, I noticed that was changing. Even though I came here for the specific purpose of finding God, I still couldn't accept that He wanted me. Sometimes I would cry out to God and ask Him why He didn't want me? Then I would get so depressed over the fact that nothing was different I started drinking again. That did not help. I didn't realize it at the time but now I know...there was a battle going on for my soul. Satan did not want to let me go. But what I didn't know, was that God wasn't going to let me go either. It was a long time coming but...3 years after I moved here I became a Christian.

I think the purpose of this post is to tell you to not give up. If you haven't found God yet...He's not hiding. He's waiting for you to ask Him for help. Just talk to Him. Tell Him what you need. If you have questions, talk to someone you know is a good Christian. If you don't know anyone like that find a good church. Ask God to lead you to the right one where they can help you. He will help you find the help you need.

I won't lie to you. There are still days that to tell someone I love them is really hard. Even when I feel it and want to. I always hope they will say it first because then it is so much easier. It took a long time but I know that God loves me. He loves you too. If you have any doubt of that remember...He was nailed to a wooden cross, for you. Give Him a chance to show you how much He loves you. He's waiting for you!

Find a bible and read Luke 23