I once heard a song done by Carmen that says; When satan reminds us of our past we need to remind him of his future!! I liked that. Have you ever had GOD remind you of your past? He did me just the last couple of days. He brought something back to my memory that really wasn't forgotten, I had just pushed it aside. I think from time to time everyone does that with something. We all have "skeletons in our closets". The question is...What do you do with those skeletons?
Well...for me, I write about those skeletons. Last December I told GOD that whatever HE wanted me to write, I would. Yesterday, and again today, I tried to back out of it. But...HE keeps telling me to write. For some reason, and sometimes I'm not sure what that is, God has me share my past...my pain, if you will...to help others that may have went through similar things. And, as I have shared before, when I do that GOD also starts a healing process in my own life. I want to tell you right now that it can sometimes be painful. GOD doesn't promise us that life will always be easy. HE just asks that we trust and obey HIM and HE will always be there for us. HE will never leave or forsake us. You will find that in Hebrews 13:5. That is quickly becoming one of my favorite verses. So as you may have guessed, GOD has asked me to share something out of my past again.
When HE first told me to write about this I said "NO". I was at work and like so many times before HE filled my thoughts with words for me to write in this blog. I knew that's what I was supposed to do with it. This time however is different than other times. It's not about something I had done, but something that was done to me. That makes a lot of difference. Things that you do are a choice. If you choose to do something it's not as hard to tell others about it. But the things that are done to you, you have no control over. That can sometimes make it very hard to tell other people. So I pushed it out of my thoughts, turned my music up, and kept working. About three songs later the lyrics were..."There's a famine in the land and we have a pocket full of seeds." Well, don't you know my next thoughts were..."People are suffering keeping some of the same secrets you have." "People are dying"...the famine..."and you can help them, you have the answer"...pocket of seeds. I did not want to hear that. I pushed it out of my mind again and kept working. There were a few times last night and today that it entered my mind but I didn't let it stay long. Then when I was driving home from work today God brought the incident flooding back into my mind. I think I remembered every detail. Then HE told me that this was one of the main reasons that I had lived my life the way I had. Here's the story....
The summer before I started 7th grade, someone that my family knew well, tried to rape me. He was a big guy. Six' five, about 250 pounds. He took me for a ride on his motorcycle out into some rock beds. I won't give you any details of what happened except to say it was a horrible experience. Short of him committing the final act, I hit him with something and got away. I now believe that it was GOD that gave me the strength to get away from him. The only other person that ever knew was his wife and she made me promise not to tell. I was 12, and scared, so I didn't. Over the years he apologized a few times and I always told him I forgave him. Since I have become a Christian I can truly say I have forgiven him.
When GOD brought all this back to me today, HE told me that it was one of the main reasons I had made the choices that I did while growing up. He let me know that I chose drugs, alcohol and every negative emotion that I had because of this. All of the other emotions like love and happiness I had in effect pretty much shut down because of this. HE told me that this act was the root cause of the reason I chose the path I had. This was a person I had completely trusted and because he violated that trust, I was never the same.
So for two days now HE has been asking me to write this and I have been saying "NO". GOD has done so much for me that I know HE will make it all okay. It's hard to put my story out there sometimes, but I know I just have to trust GOD. For anyone out there who has gone through something like this maybe GOD had me write this for you. I don't know. All I can tell you is, if you will let GOD help you with the pain of your past, HE will. HE is there waiting for you to bring it to HIM. Believe me when I say, that without the LORD, I would not have had the courage to write this.
JOHN 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world
NAHUM 1:7 The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and HE knows those who trust in HIM.
PSALMS 145:8-9 The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The LORD is good to all, and HIS tender mercies are over all HIS works.
God shows patience and understanding everyday of our lives. HE is always there for me even when I don't want to do what HE says. As soon as I run to HIM, HE shows me mercy and forgives me for not trusting and obeying HIM. HE knows it's not always easy for us to do as HE asks. If you have not asked HIM to forgive you and come into your life you need to do that. HE's waiting to hear from you and be the LORD of your life. Talk to HIM today. Don't wait until it's too late. HE died for you. You need to live for HIM.
LUKE 12:8 Also I say unto you, Whosoever shall confess me before men, him shall the Son of man also confess before the angels of GOD.
JOHN 6:35 And JESUS said unto them, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who abides in Me shall never thirst."
ACTS 3:19 Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the LORD.
GOD will help you with your past. HE will help you to deal with it and HE will heal your pain because of it. HE doesn't care if it's things that you have done or things that have been done to you. I was 52 years old before I gave HIM a chance to help me. I didn't believe that HE cared. But believe me when I tell you, HE cares more than you can imagine. HE LOVES YOU!! Let HIM. You just have to open the door a little and HE will be there for you always.
A friend told me that he likes it when I write of my past because it shows what GOD can do if we let HIM. What are you going to let GOD do for you???