After writing my "Skeletons" post I was having a little trouble staying positive. I wrote it on the 9th and really didn't get a complete release from the feelings I was having about it until today after church. I was questioning GOD about why HE was making me relive this moment in my "history"? Why, if GOD only wanted good things for me, was HE bringing back all the thoughts and feelings I had when I lived through it the first time?? Well, a good friend said to me that HE is doing a cleansing and healing to the core of my being. Once I decided to let that happen it's amazing how my thoughts changed. Was it still a hard thing to go back and think about all over again? YES, it was. But, am I better off now because GOD brought it out in the open and I don't have to feel guilt and shame over it? Yes, I am. Did I learn things through all of this? Yes, I did. This is what I learned...
GOD wants to have control over every area in our lives. We all have things that we think are hidden and no one knows about. GOD knows about them all. We don't always have to share them with everyone unless GOD tells us to. GOD only has you do, what is good for you. What will make you "whole". HE wants to heal you of all of your hurts, your wounds, and even what you consider the tragedy's of your life. We have to be willing to let HIM do that for us. If we don't, we won't get better and we won't be able to help other people that have had similar experiences in their lives.
Through all of this I had to make a choice. I had to choose if I was going to let GOD do what HE needed to do in me, so that I could live for HIM and do what HE wants me to do. Until I was driving home from church today I had not completely made that choice. Then something the Pastor said in service kind of hit me in the head. We are covered by "The Blood of JESUS"! It didn't matter how disgusted, sick or vulnerable I was feeling...the LORD is here with me and I don't have to feel these things if I don't want to. All I had to do was make a choice that I was going to let the LORD have control over my thoughts and feelings about this incident in my past. I could let it consume my thoughts or I could let it be part of "my story" to help others. I choose to let the past be the past and to use it as a tool to help others find the peace that only HE can give.
What ever you have in your past can also be used to help other people. It isn't always non Christians that need help. Sometimes it's other Christians. We all have a past and things that have left scars. Just remember that scars are good. If you have a scar, it is a wound that has been healed. The more scars you have, the better off you are. If there is no scar there yet, you need to ask GOD to heal you of that wound. You don't have to be physically sick to need healing. Many times it's your mind that needs healing or renewed. HE wants to heal you of every wound you have. Let Him do that for you. You have no idea how much better and free you will feel when HE is done.
2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
2 “But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture.
2 O LORD my God, I called to you for help
and you healed me.