The month of September was a hard month for me. I'm calling it a "Learning Curve." During this time it was hard to write anything. I depend on God to give me things to write about and it seems He has been pretty quite. Then again...maybe I just wasn't listening as closely as I should be. Whatever the case, I know that writing this is what I'm supposed to do, so if sitting here and struggling through it is what has to happen then...so be it.
Writers often have what they call, writers block. I don't really consider myself a writer so that's not what my problem has been. I have had what I will call a "God block." Sometimes when things get really crazy I just stop doing all the right things. I seem to get caught up with the "problems" instead of getting caught up with the "problem solver"...GOD.
In August I started talking to God and asking Him to change me into the person He wanted me to be. Let me tell you...if you don't really mean it don't pray it, because God will give you opportunities to change. In my case it's usually not the opportunities I'm looking for. I would like things to be an easy, gradual change. Not an all out major challenge in my life change. Now I'm not saying that God causes the problems but I think He lets us struggle with them until we start doing the right things. By that I mean...talking to Him about what's wrong and then believing that He will take care of it and reading His word. When the issue is something big I seem to lack in those areas. Personally, I had visions of grabbing the people involved in my problem and smacking their faces into their desk a few times until they got a clue that I had had enough of them. Since orange jumpsuits really aren't my personal taste in clothing I refrained from doing that. Instead I just got angrier and angrier until I was sick. Then I finally decided it was time to"really" start talking to God about this. I had actually been talking to Him about it from the start but after a few weeks of things continually getting worse instead of better, I gave up on Him doing anything about it and started thinking of all the worst scenarios that could happen. Then I realized, again, that I cannot change things. God is the only one that can take the bad situations in my life and change them for good. He is the "problem solver" we are not.
So, here I am right back where I was a few weeks ago. When I finished that last paragraph the words of a scripture came to mind. I actually had not even thought of this scripture during this time at all. But the words that just went through my thoughts were...More of Me and less of you. The actual scripture says; He must become greater, I must become less. John 3:30. You would think that as many times as God reminds me of that, I would be getting much better at doing it.
It's amazing how God works through our problems, or our pain, and helps us to grow. We just have to be willing to listen to what He is telling us and be open to what He is teaching us. Growth most always seems to be painful, at least for me. But, if you're willing to learn and to grow, God will be there to see you through it. The main thing is, do not give up on God. He is there with us the whole time, even when we don't think that He is.
James 1:2-4 (The Message)
2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.