Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Before I finish telling you about my time at camp I want to tell you the reason I'm writing about this particular time in my life. From the time I became a Christian God started working on taking away anything from my past that would hinder my walk with Him. Anything that would hold me back and stop Him from being able to move in my life. Things like my lifestyle, habits, and even past events. The memories of these events will always be with me but the pain of them will not. God takes care of that. He makes it so the memories of your past are there but He heals the pain. However, He doesn't always heal physical things that are the consequences of your sin. I also believe you get to keep the memories so you don't go back to your old way of life. He wants me to use these memories to help other people to get past their pain and by writing it out it some how helps me. And, God likes to expose things so that you can see things for what they are. There may be someone that will read this that is involved in something like this and they need to know the truth and what could possibly happen to them. Only God knows and sometimes God uses different ways than we would. We have all done different things in our lives. Some of what I have learned by my sins, may be able to help someone else. By sharing what the Lord has done for me it helps me to grow more in Him. When you do what the Lord tells you to do your being obedient. By being obedient God is able to continue to do more in your life. I always want more of God in my life so I choose to be obedient. If you read Philippians 1:6 in the Amplified version it says: I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ-right up to the time of His return-developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. So, it's not only about getting rid of the old things in your life it's also about allowing new things into your life. Things of God, and learning how to serve Him in every way you can. So here's the rest of that time in my life.

After she got the beer we went back to camp and she drank only a swallow or two then left it and went outside. Our trailer was in the middle of some trees and there are a lot of rocks on the ground. The rocks are
half buried not just laying on the ground. They were all different shapes and sizes. It was the middle of the afternoon and she went out and sat down on a stump outside our door. After she had been there a bit I noticed she was talking to someone. I looked out and didn't see anyone but saw she was looking at the ground. The only thing that was there was a chipmunk, about a foot away, just staring at her. I thought for sure she had lost it and went back inside. We went to work that evening than back to our trailer. Later that night she said she was going to go to the phone and make a call. After she left I just started feeling really scared but didn't know why so I locked the door. She was gone for a couple hours and when she got back she couldn't get in because I had her key. She kept beating on the door and yelling for me to let her in. For some reason I was afraid to but didn't know why. After about 30 minutes I finally did. When she came in it was like she was two different people. Like she was split right down the middle. One side of her face looked normal and she would say normal things. Then almost immediately she would say something either crazy or scary and the other side of her face would move. Her mouth only moved on the side that was talking to me. The normal side had her voice but the other side had a deeper, different kind of voice. After just a minute I realized that someone else was in her. I had never seen anyone demon possessed, except on the movies, but I was pretty sure that was what had happened. She wouldn't let me leave. She insisted that I talk to her. The problem was it wasn't her most of the time. I had a guitar with me and she insisted that I sit down and make up a tune to go with a song she had just wrote. She sang a song that was about me and how I was mean to her. It went on to say something about what was going to happen if things didn't go her way. I can't remember all the words because for years I worked hard to forget them. Many scary things happened that night. All I can say is, be careful whom you align your life with. When you start messing around with drugs your messing around on satan's territory. You open yourself up to him and sometimes it's only by the grace of God that you make it out alive. To make a long night short: I found out the next day that while she had been gone she tried to choke one of our friends to death. Then she ran back to the trailer and insisted I let her in. After that they came looking for her but couldn't get any closer than about 50 feet from the trailer. They said they felt a heaviness all around the trailer and when they tried to get closer it was like there was a wall there. They could not get any closer without risking themselves. So they all made a circle around it, about 20 people, and stayed there all night and prayed for us. The next morning we walked out and they took us to the dining hall where we had devotions every morning. They prayed for us and it was amazing. The demon left and she just collapsed. That's when I found out everything she had done. She told me that who she was talking to earlier was the chipmunk and all the rocks. She said the chipmunk talked to her and the rocks all were heads that looked like demons and they talked to her. She said she thought she was losing her mind and that after awhile she couldn't even think for herself. I stayed in that trailer one more night and then we both left camp the next day.

The sad thing was neither one of us gave our hearts to the Lord. Satan still had a good hold on us. Even though they prayed for us for a long time, and we saw the demon leave, we weren't willing to give up and surrender our lives to God. Satan and the things of this world had a strong hold on us.

You have to make the choice to accept Jesus. Sometimes, the worst of circumstances won't even change your mind. The only explanation I have is I still believed that God didn't want me. The only thing I felt was fear even after all the praying. I thought that if God wanted me He would let me feel something else and take away the fear. After finally surrendering to God I know that it's not always that easy. I know that you have to change and it doesn't always happen immediately when you ask the Lord to forgive you and come into your life. He does forgive us as soon as we ask. For some of us the bad feelings don't just stop. The habits don't always just stop either. For some of us it's a real battle. Satan doesn't want to let go. Sometimes it's a matter of you "really" having to just break free. God will help you. It's what He longs to do. But YOU have to make the first step. Just like with getting saved, He won't force you. For me it's like all of my sin was wrapped around me, layer upon layer, and it takes time for the layers to come off. You might actually say it's the consequences of the sin that's wrapped in layers around you. And it's only God that can help you get them off. As you grow and allow God to change you He helps you to unwrap from them. For some of us you don't get the good feelings right away. In fact the feelings, or lack of them, may not change for a long time. But...eventually they start to. If you keep praying and reading your bible and doing what God directs you to do, He will eventually let your feelings change. For some of us He gives us our feelings back. Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's not. But it's a process that has to be gone through if you really want to let God change you for the best.

At the beginning I said that God takes some things away from us in order to change us. That's a good thing. Whenever He takes things out of our lives, He puts new things in our lives. You can be assured that anything new He gives us is far better than anything He takes away.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold , all things have become new.

2 Corinthians 6:17 Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.

Ephesians 5:8-14 (New International Version)

8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
"Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."

Ephesians 4:22-24 (New Living Translation)

22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

If there is any one reading this that is playing around in satans territory, "STOP" and think about what you are doing. It's a dangerous road you are traveling on. Even if your just messing around with things a little bit, believe me it escalates faster than you can imagine. In my wildest dreams I never thought this could happen to my friend and I. Even though we had parents, and a few friends that prayed for us, God will let things happen so maybe you get a brain and stop all the stuff you shouldn't be doing. We were lucky. I believe God spared us so that someday we could tell people about our experiences in hopes it might prevent even one person from going down that same path.

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