My relationship with the Lord...
There are times when I am so close that excitement fills my soul! Every thing I hear and read touches me so deeply that at times I feel like I might explode! My soul is so full that I want to tell everyone! I send e-mails telling about all the good things He is doing and write posts of what the Lord is talking to me about. In those times I can't get enough of anything having to do with the Lord! Overpowering love and excitement seem to fill the air! That's when I am fully and totally engaged. And that's where I am now...Fully engaged and excited about everything the Lord has done and everything I'm believing that He is going to do. Not just for me but for others in my life that need His touch today!
But...there are the times when I'm barely hanging on. I feel as if I'm on the edge of a cliff flailing about trying to keep my balance so I don't go over. There isn't any excitement when I think about the Lord...nothing seems to get through to me. My soul is empty. The walls go up and I don't talk to the people that mean so much to me. As for writing...a numbness fills my soul as well as my thoughts. Nothingness is all I have. Discouragement...
These are tactics of battle...spiritual battle...a ploy from satan himself. He wants to get us down and keep us down. He doesn't want us to feel excitement and joy from the Lord. NO! Satan wants us to feel emptiness and numb! He tries to keep us from engaging because he knows if we do that he will lose us.
I've thought a lot about this lately because I seem to be on the edge...just barely reaching in...a lot more than I should be. We all have times of discouragement but we aren't supposed to live there. When things are going bad for us we need to press in and engage more than when things are going great!
I can relate this to being blind. Not blindness of the eyes but...for me...a blindness of my soul and mind. Blinders...or walls...go up around me and I can't seem to feel or hear anything good that the Lord wants me too. When this happens I need to do something different before the numbness sets in. There is a story in the Bible that comes to mind...
New Living Translation (NLT)
Jesus Heals Blind Bartimaeus
46 Then they reached Jericho, and as Jesus and his disciples left town, a large crowd followed him. A blind beggar named Bartimaeus (son of Timaeus) was sitting beside the road. 47 When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”48 “Be quiet!” many of the people yelled at him.
But he only shouted louder, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
49 When Jesus heard him, he stopped and said, “Tell him to come here.”
So they called the blind man. “Cheer up,” they said. “Come on, he’s calling you!” 50 Bartimaeus threw aside his coat, jumped up, and came to Jesus.
51 “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked.
“My rabbi,” the blind man said, “I want to see!”
52 And Jesus said to him, “Go, for your faith has healed you.” Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road.
Bartimaeus was blind but he knew that Jesus could heal him. When he cried out to Jesus what did Jesus ask him? "What do you want me to do for you?" Bartimaeus told Jesus he wanted to see! He had faith to believe that Jesus could make him whole. And instantly...he could see!
Isn't that how we should be? We don't have to be physically blind to call out to Jesus! For me...
Blindness of soul and mind is worse than a physical sickness. I know what it feels like to be made whole by Jesus. I know what it feels like to have Him touch me...clear to my soul...and heal me of things I never thought would be okay again! I also know what it feels like to be on the edge...afraid I'm going to go over. Because of this I have decided to call out to Jesus...to have the faith of Bartimaeus...whenever I feel the battle start to begin. Stop satan in his tracks before he has the chance to start pushing me off balance.
Fully engaged for Jesus and because of Jesus...that's how I want to live my life. Jesus is coming back soon. We don't have time to waste flailing about on the edges of our relationship with the Lord. We want to be as close as we can be. Living our lives fully engaged and devoted to the Lord doing what ever it is He wants us to do to further His kingdom.
How about you? Are you fully engaged today...despite the circumstances that you may find your self in? If not...there is no better time to get that way. Don't let satan win the spiritual battle. Have faith and call out to Jesus like blind Bartimaeus did for healing.